Gear 1 Quote List (Nov 2004 - Sept 2005)

Below you will find a list of the most commonly used, or all-time favorite phrases throughout the RPM Lawson project. (Note: some may be paraphrased when the exact quote cannot be recalled)

• You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig. – Dave Hesson (2004)
• That’s the Clarian way. – RPM Lawson project team
• What’s the hurry? – Jason Locke - in reference to CRP scheduled in January for an August go-live date
• I, spider. – LBT, translation: I know what you want me to do, but I choose to do something else; often followed by heh-heh-heh; see Spider in the Lawson Project Dictionary.
• What jobs are you referring to? – Jason Locke – asked after several meetings to discuss the upgrade jobs that would be run by the users
• …Izzy, you stupid shit... – Izzy Rivas to Sue Williams/Pam Clark
• It will be 10 pages. – Izzy Rivas – directive regarding the Power Point presentation to the Operations group
• That’s going to cost you a quarter/That’s a quarter. – LBT
• I’m building a bridge to Hawaii out of Legos. – Dan Joseph, when asked how things were going while he watched a Lawson tech control his computer and the Clarian servers during a test upgrade
• I’ll just clean my house this weekend. – Kathy Cook
• And parking spaces at church are empty most of the time. – Brian Hetz – reference to use of training rooms at Clarian
• Bite me. – LBT – the only appropriate, but unspoken, response to any comment or question in most meetings
• Izzy Schmizzy. – Brian Hetz
• That dog don’t hunt. – Dave Hesson – no one knows what it means
• It’s Pattie’s way or the wrong way. – Cheri – when describing options as presented by Pattie when it comes to documentation and training
• I didn’t understand it worked that way until this conversation. – Cap HR/Payroll functional analyst -- in reference to payroll tables, after 3rd time of having “this conversation.”
• Change is bad. – Cheri Thomas
• That’s going in the dictionary. – LBT
• Did we tell you to leave your brain at the door? – ESC to Ciber
• How fascinating! – Project Team – appropriate response when faced with mistakes, problems, errors, or normal Clarian dysfunction
• Is that a synonym for dumb ass? – Brian Hetz
• I’m not even letting them rent space in my head today. – Michelle Sanders – after being copied on e-mail sent to someone else to confirm what Michelle had just told the sender.
• My new goal for this project is to never have an entry in these documents! – Mike LaCosse (see Voo Doo Doctor in the Lawson Project Dictionary) – commenting on his desire to avoid having namesake entries in either the Lawson Project Dictionary or Lawson Project Quotes list. Sorry ‘bout your luck, Mike! J (5/10/05)
• …blah, blah, blah, blah, simplicity, blah, blah, blah… – Dean Hagar – describing Landmark in opening remarks at Lawson CUE; see entry in the Lawson Project Dictionary for revised RPM Lawson meaning (5/16/05)
• Git ‘er done! – Tom Heldt (5/16/05)
• You need a long hug. – Robin Morgan, to Pattie (5/16/05)
• Brian comma as project manager comma… (may also be shortened to Brian comma)– Project Team; started in an e-mail, but quickly adopted by members of the core team; crucial part of the quote is to say “comma” (5/18/05)
• It feels like we’re going to the big dance with our pants down – Brian Hetz; in reference to lack of knowledge and comfort with the Matching system (5/20/05)
• …now get back to work! – Brian Hetz; when thanking the project team for PM Appreciation Day (6/14/05)
• Bob Slaney lies. – everyone who knows him (except Tom Heldt)
• That’s my spinach – core team; in reference to a task so completely undesirable and disgusting that you either have to just close your eyes, force it down and try to swallow without gagging, or be bribed (with chocolate, for example) into getting through it…
• Live above the line! – Michelle Sanders and Pam Clark; post-Covey
• It will be fine. – Cheri Thomas
• I brought some bottled water. – CIBER consultants; most commonly heard on hotel checkout day when they bring in all the free water left in their rooms.
• I don’t see what that gets us. – Brian Hetz, in reference to moving project dates so they did not conflict with payroll processing week.
• Jimmy cracked corn… – Michelle Sanders; fill in the blanks…
• It’s all good. – Core Team, translation: “It’s all bad, but Jimmy cracked corn.”
• It’s a prime number! – Pattie Erpenbach
• Robin: Are we stressing yet? Tina Wenstrom: Not too bad, but sometimes my head hurts. (7/19/05)
• Sucks to be you ‘bout now. – Pam Clark
• Sorry ‘bout your luck! – Pam started it, but it’s spread
• Yeah, it’s no big deal. – Jill Bennett, in response to whether or not HRIS could key 200 additional hires during the week before North comes up on its own HR company (7/25/06)
• I'd rather eat a whole case of baby food spinach than load this patch. – Pam Clark, in response to possibly installing a patch in chlawstg at the end of July that impacted nearly every AP, MA, PO, and RQ screen, along with many in GL, IF, WH, OE, etc…(7/26/06)
• Let me be clear… - Izzy Rivas; a warning that whatever is about to follow will not be clear
• And when I say “we” I mean you… - Core team
• This feels like a surprise. – Rich Johnson, in response to the news that we might need to modify the upgrade programs, and actually pay someone to do that work – after Ciber had listed this concern in their status reports for months, and after several ESC conversations about this topic
• Q: Knock, knock. A: Who’s there? Q: Control Freak – now you say ‘Control Freak who?’! – Pattie Erpenbach, who shared it with some of the core team because it made her think of them; she was confused when someone replied with “Why do you think you were told the joke in the first place?” (07/27/05)
• So everyone’s a purple squirrel. – Greg Finch, in explanation of the uniqueness of Lawson user setup
• It’s supportive, not punitive. – Pam Clark, referring to Clarian’s new no smoking policy
• Do you suppose she even put her crack pipe down long enough to compose that e-mail? – Brian Hetz, referring to Cara Breidster’s comments on August 17 that a service pack needed to be loaded to Kronos (after fixing the Kronos test environment, and testing the service pack there) prior to the 8.1 cut-over (08/18/05)
• I don’t want to be the wedding planner for five days – Brian Hetz; in reference to coordinating food deliveries/orders during cut-over (08/24/05)
• It is a privilege to work here at Clarian where they take this responsibility seriously. – A disgruntled employee, responding in dismay to the reckless disregard for employee safety, as exhibited by the presence of latex balloons in the Pagoda, caught on film and displayed on the front page of the Clarian (08/29/05)
• Source is the source and I’m not copying the source. – Dan Joseph, when trying to explain the use of various product lines; we aren’t really sure what he meant, but he was very serious when he said it, so it must be important (08/29/05)
• How's never? Does never work for everyone? Because that works best for me. Oh wait – I'm busy never, so let's make it the week after never. – Pam Clark, demonstrating the appropriate response to any question relating to when someone from the project can complete any non-critical task, rearrange a schedule based on any Smart Treat’s calendar, or attend any QIII meeting (08/29/05)
• You won’t be alone for long. I’m sure there will be someone right there to push up your stool. – Brian Hetz, in response to Jason saying, “I’m just going to go hang out at Ollie’s alone.” (08/31/05)
• Yeah, I got that. Now I’m just letting her talk. – Brian Hetz, commenting on a point that Pam Clark was trying to make (08/31/05)
• Bite that. – Miffy, in response to the functional staff leaving data validation in the hands of I.T. staff (cut-over weekend)
• Vroom vroom vroom – Jill Bennett, and it’s a Saab (cut-over weekend)
• I’m going to make the world my guinea pigs. – Elizabeth Rich, master of the security domain (cut-over weekend)
• The fries are critical. – Chick-Fil-A manager (cut-over weekend)
• Is that the pretty Tom? – Sara Rasmussen, referring to Cute Tom (cut-over weekend)
• I’m trying to run some stuff to look at some stuff. – Jill Bennett (cut-over weekend)
• What you’ve done here is almost exceptional. – Izzy, congratulating the team on a job ~almost~ well done (cut-over weekend)
• Well of course I am working, what else would I do? – Ruby Barrow, on Labor Day (cut-over weekend)
• No go with 5 O! – Brian Hetz, upon learning from Phil Canada that “a few hundred” computers at Clarian are still on IE 5.0 (Phil being one of them, who also did not have admin rights to his PC) (09/06/05)
• She has time now! – Elizabeth Rich, commenting on a user who complained she didn’t have time to take the RSS CBT and now didn’t know how to use the system, so couldn’t do her job (09/06/05)
• I’m Mike. These are the women. – Mike LaCosse, practicing the introduction of his roadies/groupies (Elizabeth & Cheri) as he traveled from client to client (09/06/05)
• Elizabeth: What am I looking for?; Mike (Voo Doo): If it’s mustard, I can help you, said while gleefully clutching a fistful of individual mustard packets (09/06/05)
• Oh my God, I like totally LOVE koala bears! – congratulatory e-card (09/07/05)
• There should be a quiz. – Cheri Thomas, referring to the skill of people who think they should be the payroll manager but don’t know that FLSA laws don’t apply to people who aren’t employees (09/06/05)
• What’s today? – Core Team (post-cut-over week)
• I’d rather be a dingbat than a rat. – Brian Hetz, responding to complaints that omitting the name of a problem but describing it anyway is not the same as not telling anyone about it (09/08/05)
• Oh you little sucky secret-keeper! – Cheri Thomas, to Jason Locke upon learning that he already knew something that she tried to tell him about and hadn’t shared it (09/08/05)
• I don’t care about the add-ins anymore. I’m just going to key all my data in my spare time. – Jason Locke, in response to renewed issues with the Lawson Add-Ins where alternate versions work on alternate days (09/21/05)
• I think it is time to start the party in the deep end. – Sue Williams, responding to Add-Ins woe-ing and Jason’s new data-keying hobby (09/21/05)
• Run, Miffy, run! – LBT and other members of the core team, after Miffy had escaped, but kept coming back for more abuse